A mother’s endurance: Walking a daughter’s mental health journey – East Idaho News

EDITOR’S NOTE – This story includes discussion of suicide and sexual assault. If you or someone you know needs help, the US national suicide and crisis line is available by calling or texting 988. There is also an online chat at 988lifeline.org.

Young people are moody. Because of the hot mess of hormones that flood their bodies during puberty, teenagers can swing between sadness and happiness at any time. Wise parents know that ups and downs can be expected, but it’s hard to know when mood swings cross the line between normal and abnormal. Cultural perceptions of mental illness can add to such confusion. This is the situation Marisol Valadez found herself in when her oldest child, Bianca, became a teenager.

“My problems started when I was 12. I was in a very dark place and I was very angry with my family all the time. I started harming myself,” says Bianca.

Marisol explains: “It was difficult. “I was a young mother; he was my firstborn. I didn’t really understand because I had never dealt with anything like anxiety and depression before. And we are Spanish. I feel like, in our culture, (mental health) is a difficult subject. If you are sad, stop and move on. It’s part of life.”

When Bianca was 14 years old, a miraculous event brought Marisol to the Behavioral Health Center at Eastern Idaho Regional Medical Center when she was hired to work on the BHC housekeeping staff. Meeting mental health patients and their caregivers opened Marisol’s eyes to the reality of mental illness.

Bianca says: “My mother was my first supporter. “She learned about mental health, stress and anxiety. I tried a professional first. When that didn’t help, my mother talked to her colleagues at BHC and got me a psychiatrist.”

A psychiatrist diagnosed Bianca with generalized anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder. Bianca started the process of trying different medications but she really didn’t believe it was necessary. When she left for college, Bianca stopped taking her medication.

If I don’t get help, I will lose my daughter.

“That’s when my issues got really bad. I didn’t go to class; I retired; I didn’t want to be with my family. It got to the point where I felt that everyone would be better off without me,” Bianca says. “I saw the doctor again, and he wanted me to go to the hospital for treatment. Instead, I went home.”

Marisol vividly remembers the terrifying phone call she received from Bianca’s doctor:

He said to me, ‘Your daughter has a plan. See how you’re going to do it.’ The doctor wanted her to go to the hospital immediately, but Bianca insisted on driving her car home.

“I told my boss that I need to take a week off to help my daughter. … I remember driving home crying, thinking I was going to lose him. When I was home, I told him that we will figure it out together, and I won’t leave him. That whole week, I slept on the mattress on the floor of his room. It was hard to see him like that. I told my husband, ‘This is not my daughter—it’s like her soul is gone.'”

With her mother’s support, Bianca restarted therapy and began taking online college classes and dorms. Marisol managed Bianca’s medication, making sure she took it every day. Slowly, Bianca began to improve. But after that, a tragic setback occurred: Bianca was sexually abused, and she soon went downhill.

While at work, Marisol confided in her co-worker, Brandi Daw.

I told her, ‘If I don’t get help, I will lose my daughter. I don’t know what else to do. Treatment is not enough. His depression is getting worse.’ That’s when Brandi told me about IOP. ”

The Outpatient Program is run through the BHC at EIRMC. IOP is “in the middle” for people who need a higher level of treatment than weekly treatment can provide them but for whom psychiatric hospitalization is not indicated or has already occurred. It combines several treatment methods such as individual therapy, group therapy, and medication management to ensure patient success.

Although Bianca credits the IOP for saving her life, she and her mother admit it was a challenge to get insurance coverage for the treatment. Also, Brandi Daw got involved. As the director of Physician and Provider Relations for Behavioral Health Services, Brandi had unique insight, and was able to guide Marisol through the licensing process.

“The Intensive Outpatient Program is in-network with many major insurance providers, including commercial, Idaho Medicaid and Medicare,” Brandi explains. “The IOP team helps potential patients navigate the insurance process.”

It was good that Marisol made the effort to do this. IOP proved to be a turning point for Bianca.

“The doctors, the nurses – they all listened to me,” says Bianca. hey. I went there three or four days a week. If I didn’t show up, they’d call right away to find out why. I knew they cared about me This was not just a job for them, they saw me as a person.

“I learned to be rational. Cognitive behavioral therapy gave me tools I didn’t know existed. Another expert, in particular, Eric, helped me a lot. He gave me new ways to endure. I’ve never felt that in therapy – like he cared, like family. Everyone was patient with me. They did not push me to talk about the attack. They let me decide what to talk about.”

It’s been a year since Bianca left IOP, and she’s going from strength to strength. In all areas of her life, Bianca’s future looks bright.

“My relationship with my family is very good. I worked during the attack. I have a job. I have also changed my work in social welfare and psychiatry to focus on mental health issues, to help people who are struggling like me. … I’m excited about this.”

Marisol is still working at BHC. She hopes Bianca’s story will reach other parents who are eager to help their troubled teens.

“I was telling them to go ahead, keep looking. When one door closes, somewhere a window opens. Your child’s life is most important, so don’t give up. … If our story reaches one person, it’s worth doing.”

Click here to learn more about the Center for Behavioral Health and Outpatient Program at EIRMC.